I’ve witnessed the most ridiculous “conversation” between two business owners. This took place at a very popular Internet marketing forum. (Names have been changed out of courtesy.)

A business owner (Richie Goodguy) started a thread detailing his marketing service. It was professional and friendly.

Shortly, a competitor (Krabby Twinkie) began posting in the most hostile and egotistical manner. He started bashing Richie’s service and criticizing Richie’s customers for doing business with him. Then he continued to ramble on about how he is going to “win” it all and put Richie out of business (as he quoted lines from action/sci-fi movies).

At this point, I’m very irritated with Krabby. He doesn’t stop blowing his own horn, and clearly cannot accept that Richie has many happy clients. The two are in the same “field”, but offer services providing different benefits. But, for some reason, Krabby has difficulty swallowing that. He just goes on and on about how he’ll put Richie out of business.

There’s a quote (can’t remember by whom and the exacty wording)… you can find your enemy’s worst fear in what he tries to threaten you with.

I have to say, I was incredibly impressed with Richie Goodguy’s professionalism. He responded by explaining how there is a market for *both* types of services, so *everyone* can win. He never lowered himself to Krabby’s level… not once did he name drop anyone, not even Krabby.

Others began posting their personal opinions about each service. Most suggested the thread should be closed and for all to move on.

Not surprisingly, Krabby responded with “Richie started it!” (I kid you not – and I’m almost sure Krabby is *not* currently in the 1st grade) and dragged on with even more arrogant statements. Then… THEN… Krabby accused *Richie* of being “immature” and “insulting”.

How do *I* feel about all this? I’d rather pay more to do business with Richie Goodguy. I prefer to associate with people of his integrity and professionalism. He embraces competition, and is well aware that the market will choose the service that best fits the needs of each individual. He is stable, professional, confident, and reliable.

And Krabby Twinkie? This hostile, rude, immature and unprofessional creature gave me the impression he’s easily threatened by *any* competition. Never mind his “achievements” and “credentials”. I put him in the “toxic people” category. I bet you most of his clients aren’t aware of what a pointy-finger-cry-baby he really is.

Learn from Richie Goodguy. I did. Stay above those who take pleasure in trashing you just because they’re afraid (or jealous) you’ll outshine them… remain courteous and professional. It says a lot about you as a person, and you’ll be the one with more friends and clients at the end.

Cleaning out my e-mail inbox and found this from earlier
this year… he’s complaining about having to complete
ONE subscription form for AimDIRECT Entrepreneur Ezine.

From: “John (last name deleted)”
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 14:59:53 +0100
To: Editor
Subject: Millions of Forms to fill !!!

HOW MANY TIMES AM I EXPECTED TO FILL IN AN APPLICATION FORM? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE THINGS EASIER NOT MORE COMPLICATED.

John

I don’t know, John. I haven’t a single iota why you felt compelled
to complete my subscription form multiple times…

Background — Subscribers to my ezine receive access to my
marketing toolbox. The password is changed on a weekly basis,
so my subscribers share one password each week.

From: “John (last name deleted)”
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 15:10:03 +0100
To: Editor
Subject: Re: Welcome to AimDIRECT Ezine!

Why are you wasting my time ?

I entered the User Name and password, Each time they were rejected.

First you give me six different forms to fill in for the same thing now you give me passwords that are rejected.

I thought you were supposed to teach me something, So far I have learned that you know how to generate chaos and confusion !!

Please let me know when you get things right.

John

So, now I have six different forms.

And 2 days later…

From: “John (last name deleted)”
Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2003 12:54:21 +0100
To: Editor
Subject: #######!!

Hi Again ,

A NEW Program called “#######” is about to be launched where:-

You can Earn $200/Month DOING NOTHING.
This is NOT MLM – Brand new.

This email is long, but if you read it all, you’ll feel SICK you’re so excited!

I didn’t read it, simply to avoid soiling myself from excitement. Congratulations on the $200 month. At $2,400 a year, I too would be furious at this chaotic, confusing world that is the Internet.

Maybe it’s my eyes… or all the saucy Internet marketing posts. Either way, this woman felt the need to send me this “grammatically challenged” notice to take down my porn site.

From: “Miriam (last name deleted)”
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003
To: Carmen
Subject: Note to cease and desist.

Carmen,

I came to your site following a from klipfarm. I like the colors and layouts of your site but do not approve your degrarding women on the internet by displaying your pornographic pictures. There are many women circulationg pictures and given men the wrong idea. Please take down your pictures or close your web site.

Thank you for your prompta ttention.

Sincerely,

Miriam (last name deleted)

I didn’t reply to her message because, heck, it’s my right to run *this* adult site if I wanted to. But this clearly troubled Miriam, leading her to send me a second notice the following day.

I didn’t realize AOL had the authority to shut down a website simply because one of their users asked them to…

From: “Miriam (last name deleted)”
Date: Fri, 01 Aug 2003
To: Carmen
Subject: Note #2 To Cease And Desist.

Carmen,

I sent you an message yesterday with my lack of approval for your site. You did not honor my firm request and I am now force to report you to AOL and they will soon remove your web site in 24 hours.

I ask again, please take down your pictures or close your web site or AOL will remove your account in 24 hours.

Thank you for your prompt attentin.

Sincerely,

Miriam (last name deleted)

I was contemplating on whether or not I should send Miriam a reply, and decided against it. I initially thought she sent her complaint to me by mistake, when it hit me that she was *here* at my site (twice at least) looking at this very page while submitting a message using my helpdesk.

May I suggest you do a search for “adult site” on your favorite search engine and look at those pages… or maybe not. Your eyes might start bleeding and I certainly don’t want to be responsible for that.

Seems you can bid on anything from “nothing” to everything on eBay now-a-days… collectibles, homes, luxury cars, nothing, babies (remember when a woman put her adopted baby on auction just to “see” how much she could get from selling him? sicko.), and even – hell?

Apparently, John Sojourner, an entrepreneur from New Mexico was cashing in on the now obsolete “U.S. 666″ highway signs (now U.S. 491) on eBay, when he started taking some “heat” from angry strangers accusing him of stealing those signs.

Wonder how much I can get for my cardboard “My Way Or The Highway” sign?

Details…

They call it, “Hunting for Bambi.” Somewhere in Las Vegas, men pay $10,000 to chase after naked women with paintball guns. Each woman is paid $1,000 if they were hit with a paintball, and $2,500 if they made it through without being hit.

Just when I thought I’ve seen them all… guess I better start my Pilate’s now if I want my $2,500.

See for yourself.